Dear Dun Ringles,

 

Apologies for the delay in replying to your letter and Re Dun CD (very good by the way), but I am currently in San Quentin on some "trumped up" fraud / minimum wage / copyright theft and child labor law infringement charges which have all the hallmarks of CJ and his Military/Industrial Complex.  I should be delighted to take up the post of Dun Ringles manager and indeed already have (don't worry about the signatures, I'll sort that out myself).  With my expertise, years of experience as Guireans manager / publisher / accountant / record company owner and training at the Colonel Parker college for artistic exploitation, I'm confident that the Dun Ringles will make a million in the next year*.  And I may even let them keep some of it !

 

Any contributions to my legal fees would meanwhile be welcome (preferably cash in unmarked used notes in a brown paper bag - you know what lawyers are like).  I should be out to see you in 3 to 5, depending on good behaviour**.  Check out my pictures in the new album I've chust posted to your website.

 

Yours faithfully

 

Ken 'Ritchie Blackmore' Livingstone

C/O San Quentin Federal Penitentiary, CA

 

* Management make no remunerative guarantees and do not state which currency the million may be in.

** Assuming Governator Schwartzenneger doesn't introduce the death penalty for fraudsters before then (he bleeding well might, you know).

 

P.S. I am definately innocent, for sure.