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Very sad to hear that cult hardware merchant
Charlie Morrison's is about to close.
Not a lot of people know that Doors frontman
Jim Morrison (who began life as Rubhach Paul
Weller lookalike S*n*y Macgr*gor) adopted
his stage name as a tribute to the shop in
which his career as a legendary rock shaman
began....
On a visit to "Buth Thearlaich" in 1964 to
purchase a half pint of Esso Blue, Macgr*gor
experienced a hallucinatory cathartic
out-of-body type experience and began to
spout dodgy poetry about lizards (and yacht
enamel and turpentine) .
Saner individuals would have concluded that
this was due to the noxious fumes which
normally pervaded the shop. Macgr*gor,
however, was convinced that he was possessed
by the spirit of the ancient Stornoway rope
salesman, and resolved to change his name
accordingly. Unfortunately the deed poll
shop had run out of Charlies (and "Rod"s) so
he had to become Jim instead.
The rest is history. Finding that the stuff
about Lizards worked best, "Morrison"
dropped the bits about paraffin and rope and
became a rock icon with hits like "PVA
Woman", "Peatirons are Strange", "Light my
Firelighter" and the epic poem "Celebration
of the Tin of Red Oxide Primer" before
faking his death from a white spirit
overdose in 1971 and retiring to Bayble.
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b*ll l*cas has exclusively revealed to me
that Charlie Morrison is using the proceeds
of the sale of his hardware shop to open up
a hotel in the town.
he is said to be considering calling it
Hotel Morrison, it's catchy but somehow it
doesn't sound quite right.
The End
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And did you not know that he tried to join
Zing Pop many years ago and wrote some songs
for us,most noticeably Riders of Rohan On
The Storm. And didn't he write LAbost Woman
too.And wasn't the Crystal Ship about yon
time MacBraynes broke a shipment of glass
whiskey tumblers during the 'Great Storm' of
1952.
The Unknown Ceard
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This of course leads us to the rumours
concerning the real parentage of Rod
"Actorrrr" Morison...
The Cadaverous Thespian has in the past
attempted to boost his fame by claiming to
have been found as a baby in the street,
being the unwanted natural son of several
top musical figures, including, variously,
No*l E*die, J***y Pl*ckan, M*ke Sc*tt of the
Waterb*ys, and M*ke Sc*tt of the Rub*ttes.
However, the latest rumour from the Actorr's
publicity machine - obviously calculated to
take advantage of the massive publicity
surrounding the closure of Charlie
Morrison's - is that he is in fact
the offspring of a chance encounter between
turpentine-fuelled lizard king J*m M*rris*n
and, naturally, Ch*r*ty Al*ne. The two are
said to have met over a bottle of Chateau
Polycell in the intimate surroundings of
Buth Thearlaich's Bank Street premises in
1969, and the rest is history. Or rubbish.
One wonders
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Re the whole 60s LA Whisky A Go Go scene and
the Charlie Morrison lizard king connection,
who turned up in Edinburgh last night but
Arthur Lee, fronting the latest line-up of
Morrison's former Elektra labelmates Love? O
mo chreach.
Co dhiubh, myself and Arthur were talking
about the Rod Morison pedigree business and
I said: "Arthur, is there any truth in the
rumours that the Cadaverous Thespian was
conceived by J*m M*rrison and Ch*rs*y Al*ne
behind a barrel of tar in Charlie's one Giro
day while they were waiting for the Star to
open"?
I reckoned Arthur (born Alex
Murdo "Cac" Murray in Shader Barvas)
would know, because he used to work on the
wool counter in TB's round the corner and he
was always nipping into Charlie's for a
neogan of floor tile adhesive with his pal
the diminutive rock shaman.
Anyway, Arthur Lee says to me: "This one's
called Maybe the People Would Be the Times
or between Eoropie and Skigersta, man".
Now, admittedly I was standing at the back
of the hall at the time and he
was introducing a song and maybe didn't hear
me right, but I reckon that's pretty a
pretty conclusive answer. Eh, Roddy?
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Is that the same Arthur Lee who has just
been let out of the cells after having spent
the weekend locked up for fighting in the
Clachan toilets after Justice of the Pieces
S***y M*th***n fined him £20 and two days
clink for been such a trouble maker. And
what about his cousin Geddy, who'se band,
'Grish-orsht', have just released a new
album.
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It is indeed. And now thon Tom "The Rave"
Verlaine bleigeard and his Television are
playing Edinburgh next week and they're sold
out and I can't get in. It seems your
connections don't count for anything
nowadays.
I thought he was a lot better in the
Meantime anyway. That stint he had in New
York in the mid 70s didn't do him any good,
playing CBGB's and drinking speed till all
hours with thon Richard Heng cove (or was
that R*bbie D**son?). It was only when he
came home to Gress and started eating his
mammy's cooking that his technique really
took off. Discerning critics (from Gress)
would rate World's End above Marquee Moon
any day.
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Aye, but you got to admire his sense of
irony what with naming his band after an
object that wasn't available in Gress until
the late 80's. (I guess Eitshal wasn't tall
enough until 1988 or so when DHM started
dumping quarry waste there)
Perhaps he would have had more success if he
had called the band 'Bakelight Radiogram
from DD Morrisons'
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