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From: MSN NicknamePeatboyFunkToo  (Original Message) Sent: 07/04/2005 21:57
Haoidh coves
 
There was something in the Gazette about some Election coming up soon. I'm not sure what this is all about, but I'm assuming its to elect a new Pope cove.
 
Has anyone got any advice on who I should vote for. I reckon yon nice St*nley B*nni* would do a good job. But then again, that Rev Angus Smith from Ness seems very holy. And what about the drumming vicar, Kenny Stewart?


 
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From: MSN Nicknamenelsonmacantshronaich Sent: 07/04/2005 23:17
The Pope job? I think we should vote for The Actorrr, because:
 
1. He might not get the Dr Who series II job
2. The old Pope was an Actorrr as well when he was wee
3. The old Pope was Polish, and so was the guitar that the Actorrr received as a child. You know, the one that also cost 4. Exactly like the 4 Polish guitars mentioned in the Guireans tapeography....
4. Popes are well fed.

 
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From: MSN NicknameTotenkopfFriml Sent: 04/06/2005 22:06
I didn't want to be pope anyway.

 
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From: MSN Nicknamenelsonmacantshronaich Sent: 13/06/2005 23:37
So, Mr Actorrr - were you at the X Factor auditions as well or was it chust Roddy H?
 
How's about a competion to guess:
a) What other down-on-their-luck AGOFR figures might also have been there?
b) What song did they choose as their audition piece?
c) What was the judge's verdict?
 
First prize could be a 6 month recording contract with Plook Records, second prize a 12 month contract etc...

 
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From: MSN NicknameTotenkopfFriml Sent: 14/06/2005 21:21
No I didn't attend the X-Factor audition cos I wasn't aware there was such a thing. But I reckon B*d could have auditioned. He would have sang Different for X and the judges would probably have needed therapy.

 
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From: MSN Nicknamenelsonmacantshronaich Sent: 30/06/2005 00:06
You didn't attend the X-factor audition because you didn't know it was happening...
 
So presumably, if you had known, you'd have been down there fighting the other Roddy for 1st place in the queue...

 
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From: MSN Nicknamenelsonmacantshronaich Sent: 12/07/2005 00:40
OK, so a Guirean couldn't win at the X-factor. But who cares now that Niall Hippy has (allegedly) bagged a massive 1000 cash prize at the Engage Scotland Awards in Embra's very spaideal National Galleries of Scotland?
 
Guireans fans may remember the infamous cardboard box produced last year by the Western Isles Association for Mental Health in conjunction with Dundee's Art Angel project, and promoted at a singular evening (featuring a live performance by the Dun Ringles) in An Lanntair.
 
Well, some clearly deluded arts establishemnt types decided it was worth a prize,  and The Hippy travelled to the Galleries to divvy up the takings with his Dundee collaborators on 30 June this year.  Read on for the Hippy's first hand (if not entirely true in respect of the cheque) report from the scene:
 
"...while there was talk of a cheque being passed around, and the various award-winners being photographed shaking hands over one, it is not entirely clear what happened to ours; at least, I never saw it...  Possibly there was only one cheque and many people photographed receiving it.  I stayed out of that bit.

The media mostly decided it was either too wet, too weird, not weird enough, or not the G8; at least, only two journos turned up, though apparently the Scotsman said they would print a photo if someone gave them one.  <relief>

At any rate, the event went broadly as planned ... but no-one had told me in advance how it was planned.  Once we arrived, rather wet, and lightly daubed with paint from wet artwork, we were greeted by a series of earnest ARTS people with much makeup and/or distant stares according to gender.  They seemed to greet me with special and disturbing enthusiasm, perhaps on the
grounds that they had never met a Hebridean before, or perhaps a Guirean, I don't know.  I still doubt that they'd listened to it, so probably the former...

We were all given blank nametags and a pen, in case people needed to know who we thought we were ... many people decided to leave that out and represent themselves in body instead.  Being a little doubtful about my body, I chose to compromise.  (pic attached)

Some time thereafter, I found myself on stage in front of the biggest
audience I've ever had (about 120) - as the sole and only live act in the entire event ... everyone else had made dvd films or  presentations.

On the grounds that I looked very lonely up there with only MC Brian Morton (of Radio Scotland I think) for company (and he remained studiously at the other end of the stage, sheltering behind a lectern), my pal Kevin from Dundee (an ex-boxer turned poet), bounced on after me to read the only piece he had with him; which took rather less time than getting the microphone on.
 
Still, there you have it.  After about six hours of it we
got the hell out of Edinburgh before we dissolved in the rain.  I imagine someone brought the cheque, but I was too tired and confused to think about such things. (Oh aye, yus, I'm sure - Ed)

Postscript to which: This evening, I have been informed by someone who was at a Health Board type meeting yesterday that some visitors from the Scottish Executive had seen the box, and were enthusiastic; one of them had even been in the audience.  Which makes me think ... do you think we could get the Parliament for Midges of Rock 2006?  Interesting thought.  Best lock
me up before the next one hits.

 

 
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From: MSN NicknamePeatboyFunkToo Sent: 12/07/2005 12:56
I hope all you coves realise that following this major award, the actual box set has got to be worth a bob or two now. Luckily I still have a few (plus a pile of the CD's) so I think I'll log on to E-Lingar-Bay and auction them off to the highest bidder.
 
Oh, wait a minute- I foolishly sent one over the pond to CJ. He'll have by now sussed out the award (and he's probably got the money too) and realised that he can pirate the box set and make a few dollars....... 
 
Hey, does this mean the Dun Ringles will get paid for the An Lanntair gig now?