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AMIGSB Sleeve Design Competition - Everyone's a o$er!
 
The votes are in for the "Alasdair Mackay Is God (Sorry - Bod)" sleeve design competition, and they're as follows:
 
 Entry  No of Votes  Position
 Bod  3,467,502  Disqualified due to the fact that he didn't enter
 Roddy H  2  1st
 Dunky  0  2nd
 Neil H  0  3rd
 Wattie  0  4th
 Wattie  0  5th - Wattie's entry was so pathetic that it deserved to be 5th out of 4, so Wattie gets 5th prize as well.
 
Evidently Bod was going to design a spectacular Warholesque "Buntata Cover" sleeve for the album, which would undoubtedly have won. Having found and purchased exactly the right Kerr's Pink in Safeways, the omnipotent artist balanced it on the sea wall in Newton and began to sketch. Sadly the Buntata was almost immediately snatched and scoffed by a passing S*ndy M***es*n, desperate for some calories to get him from a fry-up in the Coffee Pot to a ceann-cropaig and guga banquet back at his house. Bod took this as an omen and gave up.

Roddy therefore wins the Ma$$ive first prize of a copy of AMIGSB, for this masterpiece:

But seeing he's got one already we won't bother sending it out to him.

Dunky gets the fabulous second prize of 2 copies for his Morrisey-themed composition - 

 
Dunky can send his prize to himself as he's going to be doing the pressing and distribution once AMIGSB is released.
 

Neil wins a  romantic trip for 1 to Paris** for this effort :

Here Neil can visit the left bank, spiritual home of Les Mauvaises Jeunes, and try his hand at busking Swedish TV numbers in the Metro. To paraphrase the Newvalley Bard, "C'est la verite - ce prix ci est merde", a bit like this entry.
(**The Small Print -  One of them dodgy scratchcards where you match 3 symbols and win one of: Multimedia PC, Digital Camcorder, VCR, 25" Colour TV, Hi-Fi with CD, 250 Argos Voucher, 500 in Cash or 4 Days In Paris. All you have to do is phone the 20 a minute number to find out which one, and claim it. It will undoubtedly be the romantic trip to Paris, which will be for 1 person, by bus, and will involve staying in a derelict pisoir on the Belgian border from which the only escape will be to take the extortionately priced excursion into Paris. This will be conducted in a trailer towed by a tractor driven by a malodorous sheep-burning peasant on his way to dump a load of manure and offal outside some obscure government department on an industrial estate in a not very nice bit of town. The Travel company will almost certainly go bankrupt while you're there, having first sold your passport to an asylum seeker, and the only way home will be underneath the Eurostar or stowed away in the back of a Colin Ossian lorry carrying a cargo of rejected and decomposing prawns back from Spain).

Wattie's slightly familiar sleeve design wins a fantastic Going Places Promotions holiday in Majorca***

(***Small Print - As per Neil's Paris trip, except that the derelict pisoir will instead be an unwashed fishbox on the quayside in Santander - that's on the other side of Spain, cove - and travel both to and from your destination will be in the above mentioned Colin Ossian lorry accompanied by the same cargo of decaying crustaceans. Or molluscs, maybe). The Scratchcard has also expired so it's no use to you.

Wattie also wins the incredible 5th prize of (probably) 500 in Lifestyle Vouchers****, which is just as well since the 4th prize has expired.
(**** - Yet another "winning" scratchcard that fell out of the Cosmopolitan, this time with a wide range of cash prizes up to 100,000, with the "Lifestyle Vouchers" sneaked in amongst them. All you have to do is spend twelve hours on the phone at 1 a minute to find out which one you've got. It will be the "Lifestyle Vouchers". You will not be able to use these without spending a vastly greater amount of your own money as well. In fact they'll probably only be valid for holidays in Paris (see above))
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