AMIGSB
Sleeve
Design
Competition
-
Everyone's
a £o$er!
The votes are
in
for the "Alasdair
Mackay
Is God
(Sorry -
Bod)"
sleeve
design
competition,
and
they're
as
follows:
| Entry |
No of Votes |
Position |
| Bod |
3,467,502 |
Disqualified due to the fact that he didn't enter |
| Roddy H |
2 |
1st |
| Dunky |
0 |
2nd |
| Neil H |
0 |
3rd |
| Wattie |
0 |
4th |
| Wattie |
0 |
5th - Wattie's entry was so pathetic that it deserved to be 5th out of 4, so Wattie gets 5th prize as well. |
Evidently
Bod
was
going to
design a
spectacular Warholesque
"Buntata
Cover"
sleeve
for the
album,
which would
undoubtedly
have
won. Having
found
and
purchased
exactly
the
right
Kerr's
Pink in
Safeways, the
omnipotent
artist balanced
it on
the sea
wall in
Newton
and
began to
sketch.
Sadly the
Buntata was almost
immediately snatched
and
scoffed
by a
passing
S*ndy
M***es*n,
desperate
for some
calories to
get him
from a
fry-up
in the
Coffee
Pot to a
ceann-cropaig
and guga
banquet
back at
his
house.
Bod took
this as
an omen
and gave
up.
Roddy
therefore
wins the
Ma$$ive
first
prize of
a copy
of
AMIGSB,
for this
masterpiece:
But
seeing
he's got
one
already
we won't
bother
sending
it out
to him.
Dunky
gets the
fabulous
second
prize of
2 copies
for his
Morrisey-themed
composition -
Dunky can
send his
prize to
himself
as he's
going to
be doing
the
pressing
and
distribution
once
AMIGSB
is
released.
Neil wins
a
romantic
trip for
1 to
Paris**
for this
effort :
Here
Neil can
visit
the left
bank,
spiritual
home of
Les
Mauvaises
Jeunes,
and try
his hand
at
busking
Swedish
TV
numbers
in the
Metro.
To
paraphrase
the
Newvalley
Bard,
"C'est
la
verite -
ce prix
ci est
merde",
a bit
like
this
entry.
(**The
Small
Print -
One of
them
dodgy
scratchcards
where
you
match 3
symbols
and win
one of:
Multimedia
PC,
Digital
Camcorder,
VCR, 25"
Colour
TV,
Hi-Fi
with CD,
£250
Argos
Voucher,
£500 in
Cash or
4 Days
In
Paris.
All you
have to
do is
phone
the £20
a minute
number
to find
out
which
one, and
claim
it. It
will
undoubtedly
be the
romantic
trip to
Paris,
which
will be
for 1
person,
by bus,
and will
involve
staying
in
a derelict
pisoir on
the
Belgian
border from
which
the only
escape
will be
to take
the
extortionately
priced
excursion into
Paris.
This
will be
conducted
in a
trailer
towed by
a
tractor
driven
by a
malodorous
sheep-burning
peasant
on his
way
to dump
a load
of
manure
and
offal
outside
some
obscure
government
department
on an
industrial
estate
in a not
very
nice bit
of town.
The
Travel
company
will
almost
certainly
go
bankrupt
while
you're
there,
having
first
sold
your
passport
to an
asylum
seeker, and
the only
way home
will be
underneath the
Eurostar
or
stowed
away in
the back
of a
Colin
Ossian
lorry
carrying
a cargo
of rejected
and
decomposing
prawns
back
from
Spain).
Wattie's
slightly
familiar
sleeve
design
wins a
fantastic
Going
Places
Promotions
holiday
in
Majorca***
(***Small
Print -
As per
Neil's
Paris
trip,
except
that the
derelict
pisoir
will
instead
be an
unwashed
fishbox
on the
quayside
in
Santander
- that's
on the
other
side of
Spain,
cove -
and
travel
both to
and from
your
destination
will be
in the
above
mentioned
Colin
Ossian
lorry
accompanied
by the
same
cargo of
decaying
crustaceans.
Or
molluscs,
maybe).
The
Scratchcard
has also
expired
so it's
no use
to you.
Wattie
also
wins the
incredible
5th
prize of
(probably)
£500 in
Lifestyle
Vouchers****,
which is
just as
well since
the 4th
prize
has
expired.
(**** -
Yet
another
"winning"
scratchcard
that
fell out
of the
Cosmopolitan,
this
time
with a
wide
range of
cash
prizes
up to
£100,000,
with the
"Lifestyle
Vouchers"
sneaked
in
amongst
them.
All you
have to
do is
spend
twelve
hours on
the
phone at
£1 a
minute
to find
out
which
one
you've
got. It
will be
the
"Lifestyle
Vouchers".
You will
not be
able to
use
these
without
spending
a vastly
greater
amount
of your
own
money as
well. In
fact
they'll
probably
only be
valid
for
holidays
in Paris
(see
above))