EMI
Cassette
Super
C60
(Unreleased)
(1 side
of a
C60)
(1980)
Sleeve
by some
cove in
the
cassette
factory
Personnel:
Ken
(Don’t
call me
Coinneach)
Livingstone
:
Vocals;
Guitar
Gordon (Macca)
Macleod
:
Vocals;
Guitar
Iain
(Dead
Olac)
Livingstone
:
Vocals;
Guitar;
Keyboards;
Electric
Fire
Grille
Jimmy
(Petrie)
Petrie :
Vocals;
Drums;
Keyboards
(Used
Tape +
Underlying
Boney M
tracks
supplied
by
Duncan
Macmillan
from
East
Street)
Like the
Sex
Pistols,
the
Guireans
were
briefly
"on
EMI".
Unlike
the
Pistols
this did
not
entail a
massive
advance
or a
signing
ceremony
at
Buckingham
palace,
just the
recording
of their
second
album on
a dodgy
used EMI
C60.
"EMI
Super
C60" was
so
called
because
nobody
could be
fleeked
making
up a
name for
it or
drawing
a
cassette
cover.
It was recorded
in the
autumn/winter
of 1980
in the Dead Olacs’
sitting
room
again,
using
pretty
much the
same
instruments
and
personnel
as
“Pronounced
Goo-thans”.
The
notable
exception
was “And
I Love
Her”,
recorded
in
Gordon (Gordy
Poser)
Macleod’s
back
room
where
the
grille
on the
electric
fire was
used to
provide
"latin"
percussion.
An empty
Victoria
biscuit
tin was
used to
achieve
the
requisite
Joy
Division/PiL/Cure
sound of
desolation
on the
post-punk
instrumentals
and “Slow
Death”.
While it
is hard
to
envisage
the band
sinking
below
the
depths
plumbed
by
"Pronounced
Goothans",
"Super
C60"
turned
out to
be
the
band's
“difficult”
2nd
album.
“Difficult”
as in
“only
good for
spreading
on the
feannag
and even
then it
would
probably
kill
your
spuds”.
So
embarrassingly
bad was
this
effort
that it
was
never
released.
Which is
saying
something
in the
world of
the
Guireans,
where
"release"
usually
meant
making 1
copy of
the
original
tape.
“EMI
Cassette
Super
C60” is
admittedly
consistent.
Consistently
s***e,
from the
Mark E
Smith
meets
Mag E
Thatcher
ravings
of “Socialist
Society”,
to the
Oi
version
of the “Captain
Scarlet”
theme,
to “Fanky
Town”,
where a
bit of
orange
peel in
the
singer’s
gob was
used to
replicate
the
distorting
sound of
Lipps
Inc’s
disco
vocoder.
The
aftermath
of this
album
was
disastrous
for the
original
Guireans
lineup –
Guilt
and
horror
at the
atrocity
in which
they had
participated
led all
but the
least
perceptive
member
of the
band,
Iain ("I
Like
Matchbox")
Livingstone,
to quit
“music”
forever.
Gordon,
mortified
at the
band's
failure
to make
him
sound
like
1980
poseur
idols
Perrett,
Sylvian,
McCulloch
or Cope,
left
immediately,
his
dreams
of moody
NME
cover
shots
and
instant
blone
magnetism
shattered.
Enemies
of
Gordon’s
have
been
known to
offer
serious
amounts
of money
for a
copy of
his
deadpan
version
of the
Beatles’
“And
I Love
Her”
in the
hope of
blowing
the
streamlined
ex-Mod’s
cool
image
and
prestigious
academic
career.
Fortunately
for
Gordon,
none
have
offered
enough –
yet.
Jimmy
("James")
Petrie
departed
soon
afterwards.
In an
effort
to
regain
some
rock 'n'
roll
credibility,
Petrie
arranged
to be
assassinated
outside
his
exclusive
North
Street
apartment
building
in the
closing
months
of 1980.
His
first
choice for
the job
was
psychotic
US JD
Salinger
obsessive
Mark
Chapman,
but
unfortunately
he had
another
job on
that
day.
Petrie
instead
hired
D*lag
Chapman
from
down the
road.
D*lag
wasn't
obsessed
with JD
Salinger
but was
quite
keen on
JD
Williams.
Later
investigations
revealed
an
extensive
trail of
correspondence
from
Chapman
to the
author
throughout
the 60s
and 70s,
usually
involving
postal
orders
and
demands
that he
send her
reasonably priced items of
clothing
or
household
ornaments
from his
catalogue.
Widespread
press
reports
(in the
"items
for
sale"
column
of
December
1980's Plasterfield
Advertiser)
reported
that
Chapman
had slain
Petrie
with a
single blow from
a loaded
Charley Barley's
marag.
Before
his
assassination, Jimmy
took
care to
record a
few
mystery
tracks
which
could be
hidden
away and
rediscovered
later
on,
including
the
legendary
"Free
As A
Church"
which
resurfaced
on
2002's "Alasdair
Mackay
is God
(Sorry -
Bod)".
Unfortunately,
Petrie
soon
forgot
he was
supposed
to be
dead and
was
tempted
to
appear
in Ken
"Auteur
of
Audit"
Livingstone's
1981
Guireans
Video.
This
gave the
game
away a
bit and
once
again
consigned
his
public
image to
the
ocrach.He
applied
to join
the
Foreign
Legion,
but was
rejected
on the
grounds
of being
12 and
had to
do his
forgetting
in
Balivanich
instead.
He took
his
current
job (as
the guy
who has
to stand
beside
the
explosions
in
Tawse’s
quarry)
to make
himself
deaf so
that he
wouldn’t
have to
listen
to the
noises
in his
head any
more.
Ken
(“Look,
it’s
Ken, not
Kenneth
and most
definitely
not *&^* Coinneach,
OK?”)
Livingstone
was
already
becoming
the
Guireans’
Andy
Warhol,
increasingly
involved
in a
film
directing
career (The
6 Dollar
Man
1977,
Turkey &
Smutch
1978,
The
Guireans
Video
1980,
Les
Mauvaises
Jeunes
1983
etc)
where
production
values
were not
dissimilar
to those
in the
Guireans’
recording
studio.
(see Von
Trier
and
Vinterberg’s
clearly
derivative
Dogme
manifesto
of
1995).
As an
aspiring
director
and
accountant
Coinneach believed
he had a
certain
cool to
maintain,
and
therefore
felt he
had to
leave
the
Guireans
as
membership
was bad
for his
public
image.
He has
since
been
prone to
occasional
comebacks
whenever
he
mistakenly
thought
there
might be
some
cred to
be
gained (eg
1983’s
Midges
of Rock
festival).
John (Bryll
Creem
Kid)
Allan –
to his
eternal
credit –
did not
appear
on this
album,
allegedly
because
he had
conflicting
studio
commitments
singing
with his
other
band, extra
greasy
doo-wop
revivalists
Rocky
Sharpe
and the
Replays.
("Ram A
Lam A
Ding
Dong").
He never
recorded
as a
Guirean
again,
despite
frequent
appearances
-
invariably
as the
chief
villain
who meets
a grisly
doom -
in Coinneach’s low
budget "cac-sploitation"
movies.
Tracks
1.
Captain
Scarlet
(Oi
version)
2.
United
3.
And I
Love Her
4.
Tuning
Pipe
Blues
5.
Post
Punk
Instrumental
6.
Theme
From
Kojerk
7.
What’s
Behind
the
Mask?
8.
Slow
Death
9.
Socialist
Society
10.
Fanky
Town
11.
More
Post
Punk
Instrumental
12.
Socialist
Society
(Reprise)